Give In
by PatientlyWriting
Summary: Desire. An overwhelming feeling that Shikamaru does his best to ignore whenever he sees Sasuke. Unfortunately, he's not doing so well at this ignoring thing. ShikaSasu. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Give In

Summary: Desire. An overwhelming feeling that Shikamaru does his best to ignore whenever he sees Sasuke. Unfortunately, he's not doing so well at this ignoring thing. ShikaSasu. Slash.

Date: August 11, 2013

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He knew since long ago.

An instinct.

He felt the pull long before the Uchiha ever visited the Nara residence.

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Shikamaru didn't enjoy going grocery shopping with his mother or anywhere with her, actually. She would nag and scold him to do this or to do that. It was endless. Too troublesome to deal with. He would carefully make sure she wasn't paying attention before he escaped to an open field with the objective of staring at the clouds. The sky never bothered telling him what to do. Instead, lying down on the grass as he stared at the peaceful clouds invoked feelings of calmness and tranquility. It felt nice.

And then he saw him.

A boy, around his age, with what looked like the boy's older brother.

Black hair. Pale skin. Dark eyes. Similar to himself but also completely different.

Shikamaru was awestruck.

And he felt the pull, the insistence, the push to go towards the other boy.

But he was no one's slave.

He ignored the pull, pretended it didn't exist. It took willpower but he had to have willpower, in order not to be taken over by his own shadow.

Their eyes met. The boy had noticed him staring.

Shikamaru was the first to look away.

Nevertheless, the boy looked like he was contemplating something for that was the expression visibly displayed on his face.

Immediately, a determined expression replaced the boy's features.

The boy took a step forward towards Shikamaru but Shikamaru took a step back.

Confusion was paramount on the boy's face as he stared at Shikamaru questionably. He looked like he was about to say something but before he could, Shikamaru turned and ran away.

Home.

"I was frantically looking for you!" His mother scolded. He avoided her and escaped to his room.

He felt like a coward.

He ignored the feeling and crawled into his bed. Shutting his eyes tight and trying to sleep.

To forget the pull but it was still strong.

Insistent.

Commanding.

_But he was no one's slave._

It took long but eventually he fell asleep.

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"Shikamaru!" snapped his mother, "What are you doing!? Come greet our guests!"

He remained silently in his room, refusing to budge from his warm bed as he pulled his blanket over his head to hide his entire self.

Hopefully, she'd think he was still asleep and leave him alone.

Tough luck.

"Open the door this instance!" she shouted, banging on the locked door. After a few moments of this, it seemed she had given up because he then heard her say in an apologetic tone of voice, "I'm so sorry, Mikoto-san. He's not usually like this. I don't know what's gotten into him."

"It's alright," he heard an unfamiliar feminine voice say. It must've been the Uchiha Lady's.

He knew the instance the Uchiha Lady and her son left the premises.

He breathed a sigh in relief as the pull lessened.

It was still strong, but not as strong as before.

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"You're avoiding your mother." accused his father, "Any reason why?"

Shikamaru hesitated. "...She's too troublesome."

"Your mother is concerned with how you're behaving, Shikamaru."

"Are you?"

His father's eyes softened. "Yes, but you'll tell me what's wrong eventually, won't you?"

"..."

"I heard you adamantly refusing a request from your mother. Are you sure you won't go to the Uchiha boy's birthday? He is the same age as you."

"I don't want to."

"You've never refused to attend someone's birthday before. You find Ino troublesome but you attend _her_ birthday. Did the Uchiha boy do something to you?"

"No. I've never even spoken to him."

His father was silent as he glanced carefully at his son.

"..."

His father eventually sighed. "I'm your dad, Shikamaru. If there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here for you, alright?"

"Thanks dad."

His father smiled briefly as he ruffled his hair.

"Dad!"

His father just laughed. "Now, why don't we go play some shogi together?"

Shikamaru perked up, his eyes alight.

He loved shogi.

xxx

It was the first day of the academy.

Shikamaru was one of the first to come. He chose to sit in the back with Chouji. Hopefully, the teacher wouldn't notice or care when he dozed off. Shikamaru knew himself and he expected himself to fall asleep. It was, after all, too troublesome to stay awake.

And then he felt it.

The pull was stronger than before and it was coming closer.

Too close.

The Uchiha boy was in his class, Shikamaru realized with growing horror. The horrified expression nearly morphed on his face before he promptly stamped it down with a neutral expression. As neutral as he could manage anyways. The foreboding feeling continued to entrap his very being as the boy came closer.

Too close. Too close. Tooclosetooclose_tooclose_.

And he found himself unable to look away.

The dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin. Shikamaru still remembered despite only seeing him once from a distance.

He was entering the door. Wearing dark pants and a blue t-shirt with his family emblem predominantly displayed (red and white fan).

The boy seemed to pause before turning. His eyes glanced around the classroom before freezing on him.

'Look away,' Shikamaru told himself insistently, 'Look away now!'

He found that he could not.

"Little brother?" a different voice murmured questionably.

The boy looked away then and turned to his brother. He bid farewell to his brother and gave him a quick hug before stepping into the classroom further.

Shikamaru feared that the boy would sit close to him, but he thankfully did not. Instead, the boy went to sit near the front at the other side of the classroom. Far away but not far enough.

The pull was strong.

After what felt like _too long_, Shikamaru's eyes _finally_ decided to obey him again.

He spent the rest of the class making sure not to look at the Uchiha boy.

Napping in class did not enter his mind.

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Chouji was gentle and kind. He was understanding and a very good friend. He was also the type to respect personal space. He looked at Shikamaru with concern the minute he realized something was wrong. Shikamaru was tense and behaving differently from how he usually did. However, he did not know if it was his place to probe.

Shikamaru was intelligent despite being young and he knew no matter how concerned Chouji might get, there is a high chance he won't ask because he valued others' privacy. But he also trusted Chouji. Chouji wasn't the type who would lie, break someone's trust, or hurt another if he could help it. He also wouldn't take matters into his own hands or try to force someone to do something. Most importantly, Chouji was his friend.

It would be safe to tell him.

"...He's my shadow mate," Shikamaru quietly admitted.

"Your what?" gasped Chouji before whispering frantically with shock-filled eyes, "I thought that was a_ legend_."

"It's supposed to be," was all Shikamaru said before sighing.

"Are you... going to talk to him? I heard his name is Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke."

"No."

"He keeps glancing at you."

Shikamaru groaned. "...Troublesome."

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	2. Chapter 2

They were twelve now.

Time flew by so swiftly.

But Shikamaru could still _remember_.

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He went, of course. It was raining but he still went. In black with a yellow umbrella.

It was the funeral for the Uchiha clan.

Only Sasuke was left alive.

Shikamaru felt numb. He couldn't imagine how Sasuke felt having his entire family taken away from him by his favourite member of the family. He'd heard of course. He'd heard that it was Itachi, Sasuke's brother, that killed the Uchiha clan.

How did it feel? He didn't want to know. He didn't dare ask how it felt to have the murderer turn out to be the brother you adored, looked up to, and wanted to emulate while growing up. He couldn't imagine it at all.

Sasuke stood alone, in black, drenched with rain. He had refused to use an umbrella and no one seemed able to change his mind.

Shikamaru wanted to approach him.

He was about to.

But he hesitated.

He had never even spoken to the Uchiha. They've never communicated or spent any time together. Shikamaru was practically a stranger. He was a stranger. He could be nothing _but_ a stranger. Sasuke likely didn't even know his name. After that first day of the academy when they were six years old, Sasuke had left him alone and stopped sneaking strange glances at him. He told himself he was okay with that but he _wasn't_. And whenever they were called to spar each other, Shikamaru would forfeit on the spot. He didn't know how he'd behave if he actually touched Sasuke while fighting. He didn't think he could handle being so close to Sasuke.

The pull was still strong but he spent day and night fighting against it, strengthening his willpower.

_Because he was no one's slave._

It was in preparation for the time his father would eventually unseal his shadow powers. A great deal of willpower was required otherwise there were _risks. _Risks that weren't broadcast to anyone outside of the clan. Risks that were minimized through massive amounts of willpower. After all... how can you ever hope to control someone else with _their_ shadow if you cannot even control _yourself and your own _shadow?

Before Shikamaru knew it, his family and him were in front of the Uchiha.

Sasuke looked at him.

Shikamaru gazed back before saying in a quiet voice, "I'm sorry for your loss."

Sasuke just nodded as Shikamaru's family moved so the next family could speak to Sasuke.

But Shikamaru paused.

"Shikamaru?" his mother questioned.

Shikamaru ignored her as he stepped in front of Sasuke once more. He held out his umbrella silently. An offering. A minute passed. And then Sasuke accepted it. The family near Sasuke gasped in surprise but said nothing else. Sasuke was still drenched, but the rain no longer poured onto him. Shikamaru stepped away from Sasuke and returned to his family's side. His father raised an eyebrow at him but he said nothing.

The pull was still powerful but Shikamaru's will was even more powerful.

Because he was no one's slave.

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Shikamaru could remember with _clarity_ that day. It may have been years ago but he _remembered_. After all, it was the first time he actually _spoke_ to Sasuke.

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In the Hokage's office, a discussion was held. Three jounin were respectfully standing in front of the Hokage. The Hokage was sitting in his seat as he glanced at them. A desk separating them from him. Next to the Hokage, stood his attendant.

"Since it has turned out that Naruto has graduated, I will be placing him on your team, Kakashi." ordered the Hokage.

"And my original third student?" The man known as Kakashi asked. He had spiky silver hair and his headband covered one of his eyes. Not to mention, nearly his entire face was covered by a dark mask. "The one who originally graduated as dead last?"

"Shikaku's kid can be on my team." A man who bore resemblance to the Hokage said. He had black hair and a beard. And in his pant's pocket, a pack of cigarettes could be seen.

"I heard... he is frightening intelligent when he applies himself." The final jounin murmured. A woman. She had red eyes and wavy, black hair. "Perhaps, someday, he'll be even more intelligent than Shikaku himself."

The discussion continued.

"A list of the newly revised teams," stated the Hokage as his attendant handed each jounin a scroll. "Dismissed."

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Team placements went as expected. Shikamaru was with Ino and Chouji. Their sensei was Asuma Sarutobi.

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It has been a few months since they graduated to genin. Mostly, they have been doing D-ranks but Asuma-sensei hinted that they'd be graduating to C-ranks soon. Very soon. Probably because he wanted Ino to back off. She was infuriated to find out that Team 7, the team Sakura was on, left for a C-rank mission.

Shikamaru was currently watching the clouds with Chouji next to him. Chouji was munching on chips. A field of grass surrounded them.

And then he felt _it._

Chouji noticed immediately, "What's the matter?"

Shikamaru found that he could not respond.

The feeling gathered around his entire being.

And grew.

_Something was wrong._

"Shikamaru!?"

It was the pull.

And it was growing stronger to excruciating amounts.

He clenched his eyes tight as the pain grew. His face contorted into one of immense pain.

He heard Chouji gasp in horror as he vanished.

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He re-appeared in front of Sasuke.

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